


When Life Gives You Lemons

by CWF



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fruitfucking, Masturbation, beautiful mornings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:52:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13394076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CWF/pseuds/CWF
Summary: Did I ever tell you the story about a dude named Timwho woke up one morning and fucked a lemon?





	When Life Gives You Lemons

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a skype chat joke from a long time ago, "When life gives you lemons, FUCK IT" and I wrote this ridiculous thing on a whim. I've finally decided to post it on ao3 for safekeeping.
> 
> This was basically one big exercise of "how can I make a random object seem attractive?"

Morning rose upon a brand new day, the sun casting beams of light through the windows of a man named Tim McTimerson. In his mid-twenties and living alone in his apartment, he opened his heavy eyelids, blinking as daylight gradually brightened his bedroom. He rubbed at his face, the stubble rasping at his palms, wondering what awaits him on this fine Saturday. Tim remembered that he bought groceries yesterday, and he sighed with relief that he won’t have to go out of his way to do that when it’s the weekend.

A quick shave and shower later, he walked into his small kitchen, whistling an offhand tune as he prepared coffee for himself. He reached into the fridge to grab a bunch of fruits to cut, but found out that he only had one fruit: lemons.

Tim scratched his head absentmindedly, a little irritated that he forgot to buy fruits on his grocery run yesterday. He could’ve sworn he had peaches or maybe even a grapefruit, but apparently he had bypassed the fruits section in favor of vegetables to cook for dinner. He sighed and picked up the lemon, putting it on the cutting board. Maybe he could make lemonade out of this later, and pour himself some cereal instead. Nodding to himself, he opened the utensil drawer and picked up a small knife. He held the lemon down on the cutting board and carefully sliced into the surface. In his concentration, he couldn’t help but notice how the knife sank into the rind in a perfect cut. As he slid the knife back and forth, his pace slowed as he watched with wide eyes as the flesh of the lemon slowly revealed itself as the two halves opened up for him. He paused right before the two halves fell apart completely, tilting the knife blade sideways to open the cut enough to cause some lemon juice to leak out, gleaming wet on the fruit flesh. In the fluorescent light of the kitchen, it was so beautifully bright and yellow, the texture of the pulp perfectly intertwined and full of succulent sour juice. 

Tim licked his lips involuntarily, his gaze transfixed on the sour fruit he was penetrating with his knife. He pressed all the way down in one hard motion and the halves finally fell apart, causing a small squirt of lemon juice to streak on his cheekbone. He made a surprised sound akin to a moan, his skin suddenly hyper-aware of the cold juice gradually warming up to the same temperature of his blushing face, embarrassed that he made that sound out of nowhere. He looked down at the lemon halves, and he couldn’t help but admire how perfectly their slices lined up in a circle. He set aside the knife without taking his eyes off of the glistening fruit, and he lowered his face down over one of the halves to get a closer look. His breath ghosted over the fleshy yellow pulp, Tim merely an inch away from making contact. He nervously opened his mouth and ran his tongue over the lemon, shuddering as the sour juice bit almost viciously at his tastebuds. He pulled back to look at the lemon again, the pulp texture much more prominent now that he licked a line of juice off of it. He cupped the lemon half in both of his hands and lifted it up to his mouth, closing his eyes and laving at the lemon once again, his tongue passing over it once, twice, three times. His eyebrows furrowed as the tang made him salivate more, and he pulled back to taste the flavor, his mouth puckering at the sourness. Tim couldn’t explain why he was breathing so hard when all he had been doing was standing there in the kitchen, let alone the tent that was growing in his pajama pants. He looked in confusion at the lemon half in his hand, but that gave way to a strange feeling of desire as he squeezed the sides of it in his hand, lemon juice welling up and dripping down his wrist. But wait, with the way how it looks now that he squeezed the sides…

Tim’s eyes glazed over with lust at the realization. With his other hand, he used his index finger to press at the center gap of the fruit flesh, rubbing up and down and widening it into a glistening wet slit. He set the lemon half on the cutting board and hurriedly sliced the bottom off, opening a new hole on the opposite end. He groaned in anticipation, fumbling with his pajama pants and boxers until he pulled them both down to his knees, his erection straining painfully hard in the open air. He looked at the repurposed lemon in his hand, hovering it over his dick and gently squeezing lemon juice onto the head. He jolted up at the indescribable feeling and gripped the counter with his free hand, leaning back and watching the lemon juice dribble down his shaft with rapt attention. He could feel the citrus sting, almost as sharp as it was on his tongue, but it only served to warm his sensitive dick nearly to the point of burning. Holding the lemon carefully with his fingertips, he guided himself into the fleshy gash, pressing it all the way down to his pelvis in one hard thrust. Tim’s hips thrust upwards involuntarily, about half of his cock poking out the other side of the lemon. He took a moment to catch his breath, his face bright red as he held the lemon there with his trembling fingers. He could now feel an actual burning sensation all over his shaft while the juice left a contrasting wet, cold sensation on his skin. He swallowed thickly, taking a moment to revel in the stinging pinpricks, and brought the lemon back up and down his length. It was almost like he was merely jerking off, but with a lemon as his aid, he was so much more aroused. If he figured out before that a lemon could turn him into a hot panting mess, he wouldn’t have used anything else.

Actually yeah, from now on he wouldn’t use anything else, he decided. 

Tim held the lemon in place with his hand and rocked his hips into it, watching as his dick slid in and out of view. He panted harshly, gazing intensely as the soft pulp parted and leaked out more juice onto his entire length at every thrust. He moaned softy and pulled out once more, rolling the lemon’s entrance over the sensitive head of his dick. The yielding pulp squished gently, tantalizingly, and Tim let out a frustrated growl as he continued to tease himself. His cock was red from the citrus juice, but rock-hard from the constant warm burn. He watched as precum beaded on the head, and he smeared it against the the lemon gash, as if it gently kissed it off him. 

He grit his teeth and held onto the counter edge tighter as he pressed the lemon down once more, losing all sense of control at what he perceived to be a tender gesture. He penetrated the lemon hard and fast, grunting with each thrust. He could feel his dick burning and stinging, not bothering to look down at the angry red color he knew it was. His eyes were closed in concentration, all his thoughts focused on the feeling of the soft fruit flesh, now completely warm from his dick pumping in and out of it. His jaw hung slack and panting as his thrusting became sloppier and shallower. He felt the familiar warmth culminating in the pit of his stomach, and his muscles clenched in anticipation for the impending climax. With a final hard thrust, he pressed fully into the lemon and threw his head back with a desperate cry, a loud moan punctuating each breath he took as his hips twitched erratically.

Tim’s thighs trembled from the aftershocks of the most intense burst of pleasure he had ever felt thus far. He breathed deeply and waited for his pounding heart to calm down, his grip on the counter edge slackening enough to allow the color to come back to his knuckles. He leaned the small of his back against the counter, not yet ready to stand up on his own. He opened his eyes and looked down at his hand to see his dick softening inside the frazzled rind that was once a beautiful lemon. He let out a guilty sigh as he noted the cum sticking to his hand and the inside of the pulp ring. Now that the lust addling his brain had cleared, he couldn’t help but contemplate his actions.

Who was he to defile such beauty, especially for his own pleasure?

He stood up with a huff and tossed the lemon skin and dry pulp into the trash can, brushing the residue off his hands. It’s not like the lemon was going to last, since he would’ve made it into lemonade anyway. After a quick wash in the shower for both his hands and his stinging dick, he put on a proper set of jeans and a T-shirt and went back to the kitchen to check the coffee pot and make himself a bowl of cereal.

The second half of the lemon still lay on the cutting board.


End file.
